In the latest development that shocked exactly no one since the invention of the mall, American Eagle’s foot traffic fell nearly 9% year-over-year.

Industry analysts point to a perfect storm: a Sydney Sweeney controversy that somehow happened on a Tuesday between bagels and beeping security gates.

A brand spokesperson insisted the decline isn’t about denim but about global phenomena like the existential dread of trying on jeans in front of a mirror.

Shoppers reportedly avoided the store so thoroughly that the clearance rack filed for unemployment.

Meanwhile the mall’s escalators grew personalities and started offering unsolicited fashion advice, which did not help.

In response, American Eagle rolled out a campaign called Denim Without Eye Contact, featuring sunglasses-wearing mannequins who refuse to look at you.

Some customers blamed the controversy and a flood of memes for boosting the ‘awkward mirror selfie economy’ at the foot of the escalator.

The decline appears to be a mall-wide mood problem, with nearby retailers noting that people are more likely to linger in the food court than in the actual clothing aisles.

Analysts note that online chatter about Sydney Sweeney’s alleged controversy seems to outrun any in-store promotion, which is fine as long as you count the memes as a consumer outreach program.

Retail forecasters predict a new trend called ‘denim quiet quitting,’ where shoppers wear last year’s jeans and pretend the fitting room doesn’t exist.

Company executives insist the metrics are ‘rigorously neutral,’ even as the data shows customers are choosing coffee over checkout lines.

The snack court, meanwhile, reports a 12% uptick in foot traffic, a trend the press release calls ‘strategic cross-pollination of snacks and steps’.

Some economists say people are shopping with their eyes, browsing online and merely walking through stores to pass the time until their rides show up.

As the sun sets on the era of giant fitting rooms, American Eagle pledges to weather the controversy as long as the coins keep jingling and the pretzel stand keeps crunching.