In a move so important it could be filed under what to watch when your camera is about to die, Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow reportedly spent an afternoon dissecting their mutual ex, Brad Pitt.

Insiders say the topic list included Pitt’s latest hairstyle, rumored love life, and whether his name still counts as the hottest man alive by the global committee of tabloids.

Sources say the conversation was less about nostalgia and more about brand synergy, with Aniston pitching haircare tips while Paltrow offered a delivery system for Brad Pitt-themed wellness products that probably don’t need FDA approval.

Paltrow allegedly described a Goop-approved method for maintaining a Brad Pitt aura, which apparently includes meditating on a vintage leather jacket and sipping recycled compliments.

Aniston reportedly suggested Pitt’s exes should form a support group where they rate his coffee orders on a scale from espresso to room temperature mystique.

They exchanged screenshots of Pitt’s most cringe-worthy red carpet moments, turning them into a collaborative mood board titled Brad the Public’s Favorite Mix of Charm and Confusion.

Hollywood insiders say the conversation wasn’t just about a man; it was about the cultural influence of an actor who has inspired more beard oils, spray tans, and tabloid headlines than any actual film in the last decade.

Meanwhile, Pitt reportedly responded by quietly updating his dating app profile to open to two exes asking about his life choices, which, in celebrity terms, is basically a press release.

Memers on the internet wasted no time declaring this the most wholesome exes unite storyline since a family reunion where everyone brings their own salad dressing.

Media watchers applauded the moment as proof that celebrity friendship, once rumored to be a desperate PR stunt, has evolved into a nonviolent diplomatic exchange conducted over artisanal candles.

Ticket prices for the scandal-free panel Exes in Conversation are expected to rise as the two actresses demonstrate how to discuss mutual exes without slamming each other with a handbag.

By the end of the afternoon, the world may have learned more about Brad Pitt’s exes than Brad Pitt himself, which at this point seems like the long-term mission statement of modern celebrity culture: keep the exes talking, and the internet will follow.