In a development destined to inspire motivational posters and suspiciously nostalgic headlines, researchers announced that every person who has celebrated a century of life shares a ‘superhuman’ ability.

The talent isn’t flight or invisibility, but something far more practical—an extraordinary knack for remembering where the TV remote is and who owes you a cup of tea.

According to a press release, the ‘superhuman’ skill is a tricky blend of decades of watching weather forecasts, guarding the fridge, and nodding along to stories you’ve heard a thousand times.

In a controlled test, centenarians were asked to locate a missing sock among a wall of 1,000 mismatched garments; every participant reportedly found it faster than a cat chases a laser pointer.

Scientists admitted the study isn’t about bending physics but bending the calendar to their own advantage, which is to say: lots of practice at patience.

Public reaction on social media ranged from ‘What sorcery is this?’ to ‘We want our own secret power back—preferably one that doesn’t involve bingo night.’

Dr. M. K. Sage explained that the trait likely results from a lifetime of small cognitive exercises: remembering discounts, avoiding the vending machine, and never losing your keys.

The tongue-in-cheek headline motif aside, the study invites the rest of us to join a program dubbed ‘Operation Stash the Keys’—a regimen of naps, repetition, and the occasional wary glance at a smartwatch.

Experts caution the power isn’t immortality, merely a refined coping mechanism that helps keep the rest of us from panicking at every yogurt expiration.

In response, marketers are already hawking ‘centenarian approved’ supplements that promise to unlock the same strength if you swallow them while wearing slippers.

The piece ends with ‘could you be one of them?’—a question that politely nudges readers to evaluate whether they’ve learned how to coordinate a grocery list with the TV remote.

For now, the only universal centenarian superpower might be patience, curiosity, and the ability to say ‘back in my day’ with a straight face.

So if you want to join the club, start scolding the TV remote, storing snacks in every pocket, and teaching your grandkids to ‘Google it’ instead of asking you.