New York City awoke to a health scare that sounds like a plot twist in a city that loves its mysteries: a Legionnaires’ disease cluster has killed three people and sickened about 90 others, sending officials into a press conference that felt more like a scavenger hunt for answers than a briefing.

Legionnaires’ disease is a type of pneumonia caused by Legionella bacteria, which scientists say is neither a villain nor a hero—just a microbe that loves warm water and a good cooling tower.

When reporters asked, ‘What is it, and how do you get it?’ a public health spokesperson replied with a smile, ‘In short, it’s not a fountain of youth; you don’t drink it, you inhale a fine mist that contains the bacteria.’

Investigators believe the outbreak is linked to cooling towers spreading aerosolized water across multiple buildings, creating a citywide scavenger hunt that nobody signed up for.

The city pledged to flush and disinfect affected systems, upgrade maintenance, and release a color-coded map of towers that could be the culprits—though the map might not be as satisfying as a treasure map to a lighthouse of clean air.

The mayor’s office rolled out a public health campaign called ‘Hydration Station’—a network of free water fountains and posters that are somehow both cheerful and slightly ominous about not dying of a mysterious bacteria.

Residents reacted with concern and sarcasm, posting memes and asking whether the city would finally fix the elevator that detours through the sewer. Still, most agreed it’s better to drink water than to risk catching a bacteria with a marketing plan.

Experts stressed that Legionella is not spread from person to person like a cold and that you don’t get it by drinking tap water; you get it by inhaling contaminated mist, which sounds exactly like a dad explaining why you shouldn’t pour steaming hot tea into a pool.

Hotels and tour operators tried to spin the outbreak into a ‘cool factor’—offering Legionnaires’-themed experiences with disclaimers and complimentary masks, because nothing says vacation like memorizing a disease while riding the subway with a bottle of water.

Social media lit up with jokes and public service announcements, including memes of bacteria wearing tiny helmets and attempting to audit a cooling tower. The city responded with updates and a reminder that humor is allowed, but science is required.

Meanwhile, some residents joked about the outbreak being NYC’s latest imported trend—’this season’s must-have accessory: a hospital-grade sense of existential dread.’ The consensus remained: follow health guidance, but keep your sense of humor intact.

The health department promised daily briefings as the city fervently tries to untangle the mystery, while urging anyone with fever, cough, or shortness of breath to seek medical attention. And if you’re wondering about the phrase ‘What is it, and how do you get it?’—yes, the city is asking that exact question back, until it gets a clear answer.