The globe awoke to a fresh ominous milestone in the ongoing saga of fear, a number so large even calculators filed for a timeout.

Scientists unveiled charts that look more like fever dreams, with the fear axis bending into an eyebrow and hope squinting at the margins.

Grocery stores rolled out a new policy in the interest of public calm: one loaf of bread per family per week, a plan that would impress the most optimistic math teacher.

Hazmat fashion exploded as designers marketed glittery protective wear perfect for Zoom meetings and awkward small talks about disease transmission.

Public health briefings became blockbuster events with dramatic lighting and a soundtrack that sounds like a vending machine refusing to give change.

Airlines advertised panic friendly fares to anywhere with bright screens and questionable air quality, because travel is a mood now.

Tech firms launched panic management services offering dashboards that track anxiety in real time and lighting that breathes in time with your heartbeat.

Parents teach kids the art of thorough hand washing and staying six feet from family photos, a parenting milestone no one asked for.

Memes turned into the official coping mechanism, featuring captions about showers, clocks and the inexorable spread of screen time.

Politicians tried to ride the wave of fear by announcing new color coded alerts and PPE trends that pair with seasonal scarves.

Experts insisted the situation is serious but non fatal to common sense, which is the real crisis we are trying to preserve.

As the milestone settles in the internet airwaves, the world takes a collective breath and vows to return to normal while ordering a larger online pizza.