In a turn of events that will require a new unit of time, a cosmic explosion allegedly wiped out a once-thriving, hyper-advanced civilization.

Researchers say the blast was so powerful it erased their entire calendar, their satellites, and the last remaining group chat about interstellar potato recipes.

Astronomers, who often misplace their confidence, confirmed the civilization collapsed not from invasion or plague but from a universe-sized blast that apparently hit the snooze button on destruction.

Experts insist this is not a metaphor but a reminder that even the most sophisticated species can be unmade by a routine stellar fireworks display.

What was left behind includes architecturally questionable ruins, a skyline of scorched domes, and a bureaucracy that apparently ran on optimism and sticky notes.

The civilization reportedly excelled in energy efficiency, teleportation, and leaving mystery inscriptions that future archaeologists will pretend to understand.

Now, the only artifacts left are burned-out reactor cores and a collection of social media posts from a long-dead philosopher that were somehow extra flame-retardant.

One scientist, who asked to remain anonymous so as not to expose their coffee budget, said the blast was a cosmic ‘do not disturb’ sign with a very loud megaphone.

Cultural historians are scrambling to interpret the ruins, which resemble a badly organized blueprint for a city designed by someone who mistook a recipe for a map.

Parochial media asked whether the civilization had time to publish a last-ditch manifesto on cosmic coffee, but the researchers shrugged and handed out mugs labeled Universal Briefs.

Politicians, who still exist in enthusiastic rumor mill form, proposed commemorating the event with a national holiday named We Did Not See That Coming Day.

Meanwhile, the cosmic dust remix became a hit on the interstellar economy’s hardest-hitting genre: ambient ruin.

The discovery has reignited debates about whether humans are next, to which the universe replied with a shimmering beep that sounded suspiciously like not yet.

Until new data arrives, scientists urge the public to maintain healthy skepticism, curiosity, and a snack stash in case the cosmos decides to pull another dramatic finale.