Scientists announced a room-temperature quantum breakthrough that allegedly lets qubits behave at the same climate as a sunlit office, a development sure to upend cryogenics, coffee budgets, and the morale of lab interns.

The unnamed team unveiled what they call the Ambient Coherence Device, a contraption built from budget laser pointers, a heat-resistant coffee mug, and a poster reading ‘Patience Is Quantumly Entangling’.

During the demonstration, a single qubit reportedly stayed coherent long enough to finish a set of slide transitions, prompting a spontaneous round of applause that could be heard in the adjacent break room.

Experts say the breakthrough could revolutionize quantum computing, sensing, and perhaps the office coffee grinder, though they caution that scaling is a different problem and the thermostat will likely have opinions.

Critics argued the claim isn’t about physics so much as physics-adjacent PR, noting that room-temperature is a relative term when you’re in a lab that doubles as a sauna for postdocs.

Funding officials declined to comment on the novelty of the claims but admitted they’re optimistic about grant-funded follow-ups, which will involve another whiteboard and a lot of arrows pointing to ‘replication’.

Tech analysts predict this could lead to consumer devices that claim quantum advantages at room temperature, provided your living room thermostat doesn’t veto the entangled state.

Publishers are already guessing on semantics, with headlines like ‘Room-Temperature Quanta Simplify Office Life’ and ‘Thermostats May Now Hold the Keys to Quantum Supremacy’.

One researcher reportedly joked that the real breakthrough is not physics but the lab’s ability to claim progress while everyone pretends to understand the graphs.

Meanwhile, the lab’s snack table remains arguably the most entangled system in the room, with cookies appearing on multiple plates and disappearing without a trace.

The team insists the ‘room-temperature’ label is a testament to engineering savvy and a willingness to test boundaries, not a holy grail, though they did bring extra hoodies to celebrate.

In the days ahead, replication studies will decide the fate of this claim, while merch teams brainstorm cozy-branded slogans like ‘Cozy Qubits, Warm Futures’ to capitalize on the hype.