Defensive end Myles Garrett released a Self-Questioning Cheat Sheet for anyone tempted to push the speedometer to 100 mph because apparently even a professional athlete needs to pause and reflect before becoming a highway legend in a helmet.

On the first page Garrett writes that if you are about to hit 100 mph you should ask yourself whether this is about speed or about turning a commute into a midseason highlight reel your car cannot monetize.

Question two asks whether this surge will please your mom, your future self, or just lower your insurance premium by politely refusing the request to become a living cautionary tale.

Question three ponders road literacy and destiny: do you truly know the road you are on or is 100 mph simply the distance to a surprising fate.

Question four introduces the sacred two second rule and insists that if you cannot count two seconds between the car ahead and you while keeping both hands on the wheel you should stay off the accelerator.

Garrett then has a section called two second rule and other self therapies that claim the safest ride is one with a calm heart rate and a working turn signal.

Question five tackles ego: if you crash will there be a viral apology video or a serious therapy bill that costs less than your car payment.

An exit ramp ethics subsection asks whether you would take the fast lane to become a legend or take a longer route that at least ensures the GPS knows where you are.

A cartoon shows a helmet shouting safety first while the tachometer screams that you cannot outrun physics.

Online reactions are predictably silly with memes of Garrett meditating on a speedometer and fans asking coaches to bench anyone who believes speed trumps common sense.

Local law enforcement offered a dry compliment about self reflection while keeping a safe distance from the actual speed limit.

The piece ends with a clear reminder that this is satire and that real driving should prioritize safety over bragging rights on the internet.