In a development that should shock absolutely no one who has ever drafted in August, fantasy football experts released their definitive 2025 guide: 20 players to target and 20 to avoid.

The list, compiled by a rotating cast of analysts who worship at the altar of spreadsheets and snack shelves, promises to turn every user’s draft board into a CIA level document, complete with redacted lines.

The targets are billed as high upside options who might break out if the stars align, the moon is in the proper phase, and fantasy points are willing to cooperate.

The avoids are dominated by injuries, coaching changes, and the dreaded midseason slump that always happens to someone who wore a visor to a press conference.

One analyst insisted the distinction is not about talent but about the chance your season does not end up looking like a reality show about reckless lineups.

The piece notes that risk is a feature, not a bug, especially when your friends who drafted a quarterback in the second round start asking for a reality check.

The article includes a flow diagram titled Should I Target or Avoid, which basically says if the player’s name rhymes with hype that is a target; if it rhymes with elapse avoid.

There is a quirky caveat about age curves and ball trajectories, because every fantasy season is really a physics experiment gone smilingly chaotic.

To illustrate the guide highlights a player who might finally realize his potential after three hamstring injuries and a decent performance in the playoffs last year.

The writer notes that the list is probably more emotionally satisfying than a first date with a waiver wire, less awkward, more probability of scoring points, and more coffee.

Fans are invited to debate, but the real winner is the one who can pronounce the fourth string tight end name without pausing for breath.

In a meta twist, the piece acknowledges that even the best drafted teams still rely on luck, waiver pickups, and a few miraculous touchdowns that appear like late night infomercials.

The article ends with a reminder that fantasy football is a sport where optimism meets arithmetic, and sometimes the arithmetic runs out of batteries.

Finally, the guide closes with a heartfelt dedication to couch coaches everywhere: may your bet slips stay legible and your fantasy gods stay merciful.