Borderlands 4 revealed its PC specs today, and the presenter declared, “That it runs at all is a miracle,” immediately followed by a modest fire drill and a limited-edition commemorative defibrillator. The phrase now sits on the splash screen between the PEGI rating and a reminder to open your windows.

Minimum requirements begin with Windows, a GPU, and a power bill that doubles as character backstory. Recommended requirements include a CPU with six cores, two hobbies, and one emergency contact who knows CPR for power supplies.

The studio clarified that VRAM is essential, ideally enough to remember your childhood and to cache the next three patches. RAM suggestions range from “Please” to “Are you sitting down?” with an optional tier called “You didn’t need those Chrome tabs anyway.”

Storage demands are simple: 120GB for the game, 200GB for coping mechanisms, and a little free space for the solemn walk you’ll take after you enable ray tracing. If your drive is an HDD, the installer will send a handwritten letter of concern.

Within minutes, players were Googling how to upgrade and accidentally typing refurbished server GPU 16GB HBM2 like they’re ordering a small moon. Early adopters report their apartment lights dim when they press Add to Cart, and the landlord calls to ask if they’ve opened a tungsten mine.

Power guidance is similarly encouraging, listing a 750W minimum and 900W if your dreams are textured. The phrase modular 1000W ATX 3.0 power supply appears under “strongly encouraged,” right next to a multivitamin and a will drafted in the BIOS.

When asked whether the miracle includes a “Skip to Cutscene” button for POST, a developer whispered, “Faith without works is dead,” and handed me a surge protector shaped like a chalice. QA nodded solemnly and said they test stability by juggling toasters during a driver update.

Graphics presets are now labeled: Candle, Lantern, Overcast Noon, Two Suns, and Religious Experience. Ultra toggles a hidden option called “Sermon on the Mount of Heat,” which converts extra frames into radiant warmth for nearby houseplants.

On consoles, the studio promises a rock-solid 60 frames, defined here as “a continuous feeling of movement.” On PC, frames are measured in lemurs per second—fast, chaotic, and occasionally hurling a coconut at your PSU.

Benchmarks show that disabling screen-space reflections grants a 12% boost, while spilling coffee on the mouse pad adds an artisanal 3fps headroom. Paradoxically, uninstalling the game increases performance by 100%, which the studio insists is “working as intended.”

Community reactions ranged from optimistic to OSHA. Forums have already rebranded themselves as “communities” until moderation is due, at which point a moderator emerges, coughs out three power cables, and posts a spreadsheet of polite regrets. I prefer benchmarks to promises, but the current benchmark is a smoke alarm with DLC.

The privacy policy says “coming soon,” which is also what the launcher says, the shader cache says, and your paycheck says as it sees the GPU prices. Still, the team assures us that Borderlands 4 runs—occasionally, gloriously, miraculously—like a choir of angels singing through coil whine. And if it doesn’t, please try turning your home off and back on again, ideally after removing the goat.