In a development that sounds like it was borrowed from a sci-fi spoof, a new AI-powered radar claims it can spy on phone calls from ten feet away, turning living rooms into improvised studios for private arguments.

The maker insists the device isn’t listening to words; it reads the rhythm, tempo, and emotional arousal of your voice and then pretends to infer the exact topic of your conversation.

Privacy advocates warn this marks a new privacy frontier where vibes are valued over voices, and where your most intimate thoughts can be profiled without you ever saying them out loud.

During a demo, engineers showed the radar ‘predicting’ call content with uncanny confidence, prompting one observer to wonder if their couch had filed a report with the acoustic authorities.

Lawmakers promise hearings on ‘vibe privacy,’ a concept so fresh that even the committee’s coffee hasn’t decided if it should be decaf.

Analysts stress that the real risk is metadata—knowing when you spoke, for how long, and with whom—enough to reconstruct sensitive topics without ever hearing a syllable.

In offices and apartments, people are reportedly learning to whisper in monotones and clap softly to confuse the radar, turning everyday chatter into a stealth sport.

Advertisers are rushing to market ‘privacy mode’ add-ons, including soundproof booths and mood-neutral lighting, because nothing sells like the promise of silence while the room watches you.

Security researchers quip that if this is the future of privacy, the real invasion will be the radar’s bill for ‘interpretation fees’ after every conversation.

Some people propose treating conversations like planned heists—draw up a script, rehearse in a silent room, and pretend the radar isn’t listening, even when the room definitely is.

The company behind the radar remains unfazed, promising more updates that redefine privacy as a mood metric, because who needs consent when you can measure how dramatic you sound?

Until we learn to whisper with our eyebrows, the public is left negotiating privacy with ambient listening devices, coffee cups, and the occasional existential sigh.