In a move that sounds like a corporate retreat dressed as a national security briefing, the IDF chief rolled out a general outline for Gaza City conquest.

The plan, described explicitly as a ‘general outline’ rather than a full operation, reads like a committee’s guided tour through a hallway of sticky notes.

Slides purportedly map a path to control with bullets such as ‘stabilize’, ‘secure’, and the ever-popular ‘summon more meetings’.

Color-coded maps assign red for danger, green for progress, and a mysterious yellow labeled ‘we’ll figure it out as we go’.

A spokesperson insisted the document is about ‘peace and security’ while handing out coffee-stained post-its bearing motivational slogans.

The draft’s most concrete line item appears to be a budget for ‘dramatic pauses’ and ‘sound effects for impact moments’.

During questions, the chief refused to share operational details, citing ‘strategic opacity’ and the possibility of a spreadsheet revolt.

Analysts noted the plan reads more like a corporate strategy session than a battlefield directive, complete with a slide on synergy and a risk register labeled ‘Snooze’.

Observers joked that the plan’s centerpiece is a whiteboard so crowded with arrows that it requires its own traffic control team.

The hero slide depicts a silhouette hoisting a mug labeled ‘National Security’ while the anthem plays softly in the background.

If ever enacted, critics hypothesize Gaza City would resemble a newly mapped megacity, complete with tent markets, snack kiosks, and a tourism board promising ‘historic detours’.

In closing, officials promised further updates—each one shorter and more illustrated than the last—because nothing says progress like a brand-new PowerPoint template.