Jellyfish Force French Nuclear Plant to Shut Down, Ocean Wins Again
An army of jellyfish reportedly overwhelmed the cooling pumps at a French nuclear plant, forcing a shutdown faster than a board meeting when someone mentions the word budget.
Plant officials described the incident as routine and not caused by a sea of opinionated invertebrates, insisting emergency protocols were followed, albeit with a few added bubbles.
Crews redirected cooling water through backup lines while the jellyfish formed a makeshift union to demand longer breaks and a seaweed snack stipend.
Local politicians declared a temporary victory for marine life and a temporary setback for productivity, urging citizens to stay calm and practice mindful breathing as the sea decides its next move.
Scientists noted that jellyfish have no obvious interest in napkin budgets or grid reliability, but they do excel at turning open pipes into moving art installations.
Grid operators warned of volatility once the plant power is restored, warning that the return to service could be as dramatic as a seasonal sale at a yacht store.
Media outlets on the coast reported onlookers taking selfies with luminescent tentacles while technicians calculated risk using a calculator and a seashell.
Engineers proposed creative solutions such as anti jellyfish mesh and thermal cameras, though the sea likely views such plans as quaint, not urgent.
Tourism boards suggested a new attraction jellyfish powered tours, claiming the incident could turbocharge coastal pride and misquote the weather.
Critics argued the episode proves energy infrastructure must be as flexible as a gymnast when a tide rolls in.
In a late evening briefing, officials promised the shutdown would be temporary and that testing would resume once the jellyfish drifted back to the aquarium section.
Social media erupted with memes depicting jellyfish as ruthless energy regulators and the grid as a sleepy octopus, both competing for the title of most responsible sea citizen.
Environmental groups applauded the spotlight on coastal ecosystems, while industry lobbyists warned that jellyfish might demand seats in the boardroom.
As the ocean continues to cast its tentacles toward the plant, authorities prepared contingency plans that involve a partnership with responsible tourism and a strongly worded invitation to the sea to behave itself.