Argentina updated its weather alerts today: sunny, windy, and intermittent minerals. President Javier Milei left a rally after protesters upgraded from booing to geology. Meteorologists called it ‘scattered stones with a presidential breeze.’

Eyewitnesses said the rocks asked tougher questions than the press, and they did not accept briefings off the record. One pebble inquired about inflation mid-flight, which experts noted is the most aerodynamic form of accountability. A security guard graded the query as ‘solid C-plus, heavy on the aggregate.’

Milei campaigned on the invisible hand, then met the unavoidable trajectory. Market forces collided with Newtonian losses, and price signals were briefly replaced by warning signs. The freest thing in the plaza turned out to be gravity.

Advisers framed the exit as agile governance, a pilot of ‘Dynamic Retreat 2.0.’ Stones were rebranded as ‘unsolicited paperweights,’ and the crowd was encouraged to participate in a calmer pilot program called Don’t. The official statement took a firm stance against igneous populism.

Merchandising moved swiftly, offering supporters an ‘impact-rated campaign umbrella’ described as ‘fiscal policy for your skull.’ Early adopters praised its classic silhouette and post-neoliberal ribbing. Economists debated whether the canopy should float or be pegged to a basket of pavements.

Event staff repeatedly pressed the ‘portable stage panic button’ until it developed agency and filed for hazard pay. The button later released a memo noting it was the only thing taking a stand. The lectern simply lay down and tried to be a coffee table.

Local geologists, thrilled to see their field finally trending, live-tweeted sediment analysis in real time. ‘Rare to find this many opinions in metamorphic form,’ said one, weighing a talking point. A nearby rock insisted it was only there for the music and got swept into a narrative.

Economists weighed in, because they always do, even during ballistic seasons. With inflation climbing, experts warned that each thrown stone now represents 12% more frustration than last quarter. One analyst upgraded gravel to ‘investment-grade irritation.’

Police formed a line and attempted to de-escalate the periodic table. Pebbles were kettled into a polite cone, and larger stones were asked to register as lobbyists. Officials promised an inquiry into how tectonic plates got a permit.

On social media, the president posted a chart blaming gravity for ‘interfering with the free circulation of mass.’ He accused Isaac Newton of running a shadow regulatory agency. Influencers responded by selling workout plans to strengthen your opinion until it becomes a boulder.

Historians noted the continuity: tomatoes in the old days, eggs in the middle era, and now rocks as the premium, artisanal throwable. It’s farm-to-face, but with quarries. Supply chains evolve; aim persists.

In my notebook, policy still becomes weather, and today the forecast read ‘partly free-market with irregular minerals.’ The rally ended, the dust settled, and the stones enjoyed better polling than the podium. Tune in next week when the opposition runs on a platform, and the platform runs.