In a press conference that felt more like an infomercial than statecraft, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu unveiled a plan to persuade Palestinians to depart Gaza, promising a clean slate and fewer headaches for all involved—mostly for the travel agents.

The initiative, marketed as a voluntary relocation package with a premium exit benefits plan, comes with slides so glossy they could double as a sunscreen ad.

Egypt, meanwhile, rolled out a 60-day truce that reads like a temporary lease: two months of calm, after which terms must be renegotiated on a napkin.

Analysts warned the move could set a dangerous precedent: if you can persuade people to leave a place with a PowerPoint, what stops you from persuading them to move their couch next?

Netanyahu’s team described the program as an ‘exit ramp with a view,’ promising safe passage, dignified housing, and a complementary hummus voucher for the road.

Palestinian officials responded with guarded skepticism, asking for an itemized inventory of what would stay, what would go, and a readable map that doesn’t resemble an abstract painting.

Egypt’s 60-day tempo was greeted with a flurry of memes and murmurs that this time the bureaucracy seems friendlier—at least for two months.

The UN urged that humanitarian access remain uninterrupted and reminded everyone that ‘voluntary’ should not become ‘voluntold,’ a line repeated so often it now has its own emoji.

A think tank released a study arguing that relocation programs succeed best when paired with falafel subsidies and a generous interpretation of ‘voluntary.’

On the ground, residents began marking the map with a giant chalk Exit sign, while vendors hawked ‘Exit Package’ T-shirts and bumper stickers.

Social media exploded with satire: a mock flight ticker reading ‘Departures to Somewhere Else’ and memes asking whether a memo can be refunded.

Cartoonists pictured a border as a revolving door labeled ‘Now Boarding: Compromise,’ a visual gag that writes itself.

Diplomats cautioned that the plan might relocate tension rather than resolve it, like postponing a meeting by moving it two months down the calendar.

As the world watches, the experiment in ‘exit strategies’ continues, proving that politics travels faster than truth and slower than a passport stamp.