Niger has opened a formal investigation into the $5 million sale of Earth’s largest Mars rock, because apparently even interplanetary gravel requires due process and a receipt.

The probe, announced by the Ministry of Minerals and Meteorites, will review provenance, export permissions, and whether the rock should have a deed of ownership signed in triplicate.

Dubbed ‘The Big Red Pebble’ by bidders, the rock was reportedly found in a remote desert and whisked into a private collection after a hush-hush auction that could have used a few more receipts and a dusting of bureaucratic glitter.

Officials say the investigation is about public heritage, not about sabotaging the free market of cosmic souvenirs.

Geologists consulted for the inquiry reportedly gasped at the idea that a meteorite could fetch a price that would make a small country’s GDP look humble.

The buyer, identified only as ‘Anonymous Collector,’ allegedly paid $5 million, a figure that would fund several water projects or buy a small island—depending on whose calculator you trust.

The committee will examine whether proper export controls were observed and whether the seller declared the meteorite as state property or as a private ‘artful rock’ with a moon-sized sense of humor.

NASA declined to comment on the case, noting they are still recovering from a press conference about ‘rocks that rock’ and that due process should be allowed to run its course.

In the capital, street vendors began hawking meteorite-themed souvenirs, offering miniature rocks with tiny price tags that would make your piggy bank cry in both joy and fear.

Analysts say the case is less about science and more about cosmic economics, a field where gravity and price tags are the same thing and where tax codes have a few unusual meteorite clauses.

Memes quickly erupted comparing the rock to a celebrity with a passport, proving space is not just a place but a marketplace for planetary bragging rights.

The rock remains secured in a vault at an undisclosed location, guarded by a team that treats gravity as a fickle guest and security as a romance with metal detectors.

Legal scholars warn this could set a dangerous precedent for space objects, potentially turning every hillside into a potential meteorite bidding war if it ever saw daylight.

Until the investigation wraps, Niger will keep the giant Martian rock under wraps and pretend the whole affair is just a long, cosmic episode of due process.