In a twist only editors could love, a Palestinian activist who spent years trying to stop violence was killed by the very violence he sought to end.

Friends described him as tenacious in the most forgiving way, insisting that peace comes from dialogue, not dueling, and that even his straw banners were nonviolent tools.

Officials say the tragedy forces a grim question: if peace is the goal, who gets to count as the aggressor in the fight against aggression?

City hall announced a moment of silence, followed by a public safety memo reminding residents to ‘avoid violence’ while living in a world where it constantly tests your life choices.

A protest sign reading ‘Stop Violence Now’ reportedly paused to ask for directions before relocating to the nearest incident.

The activist’s family released a statement: ‘He believed every argument could be settled with a handshake, and he would want us to keep de-escalation training in the family calendar.’

Media analysts say the hardest part of stopping violence is not the violence itself, but the storytelling that makes it seem like a season finale every week.

A local cartoonist rendered the activist as a Pac-Man-like figure gobbling up violence, only to crash into a bigger wall labeled ‘Reality,’ which promptly declined to sponsor a sequel.

Political commentators predict the incident will be cited by both sides as proof that peace is possible if you ignore gravity, history, and basic physics.

The mayor unveiled a ‘Nonviolent Strategy Summit’ to discuss rhetoric, de-escalation drills, and the strategic importance of nodding politely at people you disagree with.

In the newsroom, editors declared the day a masterclass in irony: if you aim to end violence, you must remain vigilant against the violence of headlines about violence.

To honor the fallen activist, organizers asked donors to support de-escalation training and journalism ethics programs, because nothing calms a story like extra background checks and more footnotes.