In a move the political world is calling bold on legal pads, Bezalel Smotrich announced his approval of the E1 settlement plan in the West Bank, proving once again that paperwork can move faster than peace talks.

Smotrich explained that the plan will create thousands of housing units, a theme park titled ‘Two-State Solutions: Not Included,’ and a roundabout so efficient it could disperse visits to every embassy at once.

When pressed for details, his spokesperson produced a binder labeled ‘Strategic Vision’ that contained only glossy photos of bulldozers wearing sunglasses and a map of the West Bank that looked suspiciously like a pizza.

International observers offered careful smiles and asked for a clarification memo printed in triplicate and delivered by courier pigeon.

Local residents report a new phenomenon: neighbors arguing over who gets to be the ‘landlord’ of future parking spots and who will be the guard at the gate with a megaphone that doubles as a souvenir.

Opposition leaders accused Smotrich of treating the Israeli-Palestinian conflict like a real estate market and wondered whether there will be an app to track property deeds with cheesy slogans.

Cartoonists wasted no time, releasing panels of a bulldozer wearing a helmet that reads ‘Negotiations’ on one side and ‘Permission Slip’ on the other.

A spokesperson for residents joked the plan would turn the area into ‘the most expensive view of a parking lot’ and suggested renaming their town to ‘Tiny Hamlet, Big Permit.’

Analysts noted the plan’s success hinges on a budget for ‘artful signage’ and ‘caution tape that doubles as tourism promotion’.

Cultural commentators floated ideas for a museum of ‘What Could Have Been: Two States,’ plus a souvenir shop selling ‘I visited E1’ T-shirts.

Environmental groups asked if any green space remains or if the only foliage left will be on the banners fluttering at press conferences.

As the sun set over a landscape of signed memos, Smotrich reminded reporters that this was only the first chapter in a saga where borders are filed in triplicate and decisions come with receipts.