In a move that somehow balances ambition with bureaucracy, Bezalel Smotrich announced he officially approves the E1 settlement plan for the West Bank.

The press briefing took place in a room described by attendees as a conference space that doubles as a storage closet for very important binders.

Smotrich framed the plan as a pragmatic fix, promising better traffic, clearer maps, and the chance to finally name a highway after a potato.

Analysts warned that approval is no guarantee of construction, and this could become the world’s most expensive map-reading exercise.

Palestinian officials reacted with measured sighs and the kind of optimism you reserve for traffic reports.

International observers urged calm, noting that diplomacy moves at the pace of a nap and a briefing room full of courtesy.

Urban planners described the E1 corridor as a test of whether maps can age into museum exhibits and still be useful.

Local residents braced for detours that may end up in someone else’s driveway but hope the pizza delivery will still arrive on time.

A Jerusalem bakery announced a limited edition pastry shaped like a road map, because every plan deserves an edible blueprint.

Satire accounts immediately minted headlines portraying Smotrich as a blueprint-wielding superhero, complete with stage lighting and a cape made of traffic signs.

On social media, memes circulated illustrating the E1 plan as a cosmic joke by a developer with millimeter-perfect optimism.

Economists joked the project might boost GDP by creating a new sector dedicated to construction paperwork and permit approvals.

Yet many observers insisted the real question is who pays for the detours, the emotional toll, and the chance of crossing into a map that changes every season.

Smotrich closed the briefing with vibes of efficiency, implying fewer meetings and more bulldozers as the ultimate form of talk about progress.