In a plot twist no one asked for, Southern Europe is currently starring in a heat wave so serious even the olives are sweating.

Meteorologists describe it as a seasonal mood booster with a laser focus on every sunbeam and a skeptical eye on air conditioning units everywhere.

Restaurants have swapped mint on the mojito for swaths of shade, and servers greet customers with a gravity-defying sprint to turn on the ceiling fans.

Tourists clutch water bottles like holy relics and discover that shade is the hottest accessory since sunscreen with SPF 1000.

Local news anchors keep urging people to stay hydrated, then pivot to a policy debate about the proper allocation of the city’s spare fans.

The heat is so insistent that even the pigeons are filing sunburn-related complaints and requesting a morning shift with a breeze.

Cities declare ‘extreme heat’ with all the seriousness of a weather-themed soap opera, complete with dramatic narration and a sponsor: Ice Cream Societe.

Farmers report grapes ripening in disbelief and tomatoes quivering in their vines, while olive trees contemplate existential shade.

Tech companies unveil a ‘coolest cloud’ service promising servers that wear tiny fans and carry miniature fans for dramatic effect.

Hotels market air-conditioned nap rooms where guests can dream of polar cruises and freezer aisles.

Beachgoers trade sunscreen for SPF 1000 discussions about strategic siesta timing and whether the sea is willing to adopt a cooler mood.

Public transit authorities urge riders to travel at dawn, while the sun negotiates a higher fare for peak-hour glare.

Scientists remind us that climate change is a serious issue, and also that the human body is not a portable air conditioner.

The closing tip: stay hydrated, wear a hat, and remember that resilience is basically a stylish way to request more shade.