In a move the White House dubbed a tariff tsunami, Washington announced sweeping duties that officials insist will shield domestic producers while somehow calming investors and tourists at the same time.

Economists warned the wave would wash over every kitchen table and factory floor, likely to erode margins faster than a trend cycle on social media.

Shoppers felt the tremor first as imported goods suddenly carried a price tag that looked suspiciously like a mortgage payment.

Manufacturers announced plans to reshore production and rename their factories with patriotic simplifications such as USA Now and Made Here.

China and a constellation of trading partners retaliated with their own tariffs, turning the sea into a global obstacle course for supply chains.

The stock market reacted with a splashing dive, the Dow slipping into a shallow pool while pundits offered life jackets that cost extra.

White House aides insisted this is a long term strategy for sustainable growth, even as a chorus of analysts muttered that growth in the short term is a myth.

Memes flooded social media showing dollar signs riding waves and economists wearing floaties while giving ever more alarmist forecasts.

Small businesses begged Congress for a lifeboat fund while pretending the ocean was a metaphor for tax policy and not actual water.

Farmers warned tariffs would push up prices on feed and fertilizer, forcing some fields to switch to a harder crop called patience.

Retailers began labeling shelves with playful sea related branding to soften the sting of higher import costs for consumers.

Diplomats compared the tariff to a weather system that will dissipate only after a diplomatic breakthrough and a second act in a tailored briefing.

Analysts warned the ripple effects would reach consumer wallets and online orders much faster than politicians can say compromise.

As the tariff tsunami roars, the nation braces for a longer forecast with fewer clear skies and plenty of hot takes from armchair economists.