The Daily Churn

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World

EU officials push a giant piggy bank labeled Sanctions onto a railcar marked Kyiv, while lawyers chase it with clipboards.

Europe To Tip Ukraine With Russia’s Wallet, Keep The Change

Europe found 200 billion in Russia’s coat and plans to return it to the person the coat tried to punch.

by Arden Lowell

Keir Starmer holding a roll of tape over a frayed map of the UK, rain clouds shaped like tea bags overhead.

Starmer Warns Farage Will Split UK; Free Glue With Every Vote

Britain braces as Starmer warns Farage's policies could turn the Union into craft-night confetti.

by Arden Lowell